It was tragic
Summer holiday was over and we had to report back to school for a new and good to be semester. Sad I had to leave loved ones at home to go study and come back proud. I had passed in the previous assessments and exams too. That overwhelmed me. I left for school and bid all my good friends goodbye. School was nice..I liked the freedom in it.It wasn't like highschool where we had nosy teachers looking after all we do and all we were upto. You could bunk class here, sleep all day, eat what you like, dress how you wanted-nice life I would always think. I started well though but got myself in a peer gang. All weekends were like holidays. We would explore the whole country travel far and wide and socialising was the key thing. Days passed..months to be precise. I never cared about my class attendance neither upcoming assessments nor exams. Each night was a Friday. All club attendants knew us. We were regular visitors. I was a first year but all my friends were in third year. I was the youngest in the group. That didn't matter though..'We were all youth'..I'd convince myself. We would drink bottles down. No one kept limits. I got weaker and weaker everyday. I would sleep all day and spree all night. A time came when I wouldn't even call home. My loving mother would call. I sounded so cheerful and that studies were good. Little did I know that I was lying to myself. She already had her life anyway. She was my role model as my beast of a father left me when I was a toddler, I don't know him and I don't want to. Life can be so mean. I would feel guilty for doing the unexpected but I never changed. I would change but not for the better and change is not change if its not for some good. It was on eighth February. My nineteenth birthday. Last teen year, it had to be the best. My friends told me.
Wishes were everywhere on social media. I was on cloud nine. Having the most handsome boy around campus and all wishes was any birthday girl of my age would wish for. Night fell as fast. The City Bar was the club we regularly visited. It had classy men and porschy cars were all we could see. 'I like this life!' I exclaimed. There we were.Dancing our hearts out. No one cares after all. Fun we had. I drank alot. Takilla, martini, red wine..name it! Off I was. I don't remember what happened I just got myself played as toy between boys. They threw me in circles. I couldn't figure out what they were trying to do.My eyes got vague. And all I could remember was being carried to an empty room that I thought was my hostel cube. I woke up at around noon. Gosh! I was in my birth suit in the middle of the club dance floor and some yellow marks imprinted on my body. It looked abandoned. I felt pain as I got up to find help. Hot tears rolled down my rosy cheeks. I was in pain. My makeup was all messed up and my hair too. As I got up two men dressed in casual wear plus a lady in her mid twenties came from the bar counter till. I was raped! They were a special unit that dealt with rape cases. I had a stream of consciousness. I shivered and cried in deep pain. They made me write a statement but little did I know my story was in newspapers already. I almost got a brain hang. All I saw was mama's innocent face smiling. I had messed myself up. It took quite a while to realise.The lady examined me and was taken to hospital. As I charged my cell phone and called mom, my small sister picked it crying her heart out that mom saw the news page and got a hypertension stroke. They were with no one at home and that mother's boss got bankrupt no one could pay for the hospital bills and they had no meals. 'Why did you do this sister?' She asked desperately. I blamed myself for everything. 'I wish I knew'.. was my theme. I would say that repeatedly to myself. I had loud thoughts. Thoughts which were meaningless. They couldn't bore a fruit now. All was done. I was spoilt that I could never imagine. My boyfriend betrayed me and so did his friends. Life was unbearable now. I forgot there was a supreme God..and these were consequences! Two weeks had passed..I didn't get any better. Abdominal pains and cramps pained me hard. I decided to go to the university hospital for tests. I contracted gonorrhoea. I lost hope with life. Mom was still in stroke. My sister was taken by a family member. 'I would not go back home, I couldn't face mom.' I had mixed thoughts. Endless thoughts that had no fruits. As I crossed the road back to the school hostels. Without minding any cars. I got hit hard and thrown to the gutter.. a roadway gutter..My knee pained hard. I was taken to hospital and it could not get back to position. Walking was a wish now. I had all these yet I misused them.i would talk to myself, cry round the clock, I had simply lost hope. My best friend claimed I was losing my mind. She was also against me! When in the dark..your own shadow leaves you. Without thought the sisters took me to a mental asylum where I received 'mental' treatment. I was traumatised but never lost my head. I pretended to have lost it as I had no home. I lived with mental retards. They would not harm me. Everyone minded their own business here. Its my fifth year now and I still remember the events like the other evening. I hated my birthday for the two reasons. I would watch college students go to school and back. My time was wasted. I didn't know about home. I was a 'mental retard' no one bothered giving me a phone. But I pray for their wellbeing. That was my fee to my guilt.
